2017 is cruising along like crazy! and I am so trying to settle into my new lifestyle. It is so different to develop the mindset that I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it. The weather has been pretty nice so not a lot of ice and snow and the one day that was terrible icy was a day I just opened the drapes and watched the world slide by. I almost had a bit of guilty conscience (with a stressor on the ALMOST), as I sat in my new study watching the little boy across the street fall down and slide down the driveway, then get up and do it all over again for a couple of hours. I thought about how awesome it was for him to not have a time concession and to just HAVE FUN. He carefully changed it up periodically, but was so relaxed and unabashed— but then I truly did have to giggle because I had just sat there for a couple of hours and WATCHED HIM!! These are the funny things I CAN do because I CAN!!
New week! I wrote that last Tuesday, and then whoa!! here it is another week away and what a week it has been. I believe it is time to quit being so wispy and start to make a plan. One of the biggest changes I have discovered with retirement is probably FEAR — Fear of the Unknown– and I think today is the first time I have honestly looked it in the face, put a name on it and decided to conquer it!
I decided to start by a visit with a counselor! That alone was a bit of a big step because it seemed silly to go in and say, ” I am lost and a bit confused and scared!” I had never really made a ‘someday when I retire’ plan, so when it happened, it kind of took me unawares– because I was quite sure I was never gonna get old, or sick or retire so why would one plan for that!! Well not a good idea!
We started by talking about depression and if I ever wanted to hurt myself or others— you know all of the counselor-type issues– and it seemed like none of that was part of my issues (although I did confess that my culinary skills left a bit of possibility on the hurting myself and others department!) We talked about the steps of grief and that almost seemed to make sense as we walked through them. She assured me that the ups and downs and the good times and not such good times are all part of that grief process. It seems that is a bit intense for the change of life that most people look so forward to! , but in my case it seemed to make sense. That kind of helped to put a title on my feelings that made it workable and gave me a sense of making a plan and being able to go forward.
She helped me to see that the thoughts that have been dancing around in my head are worth serious thought and only need to be corralled and put together in plan. She referred me to a career planner and set me up with another meeting with her because she seemed to know that I need to have a time line to answer to! A career planner at my age and YES!! I am going to talk to this lady! The next few blog entries will be showing my progression into this new phase of my life so for those of you kind enough to follow these and give me your support and input—I say HANG ON! Here we go again! I will share the next steps with you and hopefully it will be a great adventure.